Wei Wuxian curled in on himself as he watched Lan Wangji stand, long and lithe and confident in his naked body in a way Wei Wuxian hadn't felt since he woke up in Mo Village. “I had dreamed of this,” he said, for once quiet, “waking up next to you.”
Lan Wangji glanced over his shoulder as he stretched, hair falling across his body in luscious silken waves. “Was it like this?”
“No.” Wei Wuxian touched his still-covered chest. He couldn't— He shook his head and tried to summon a smile. “I never imagined our bodies would be like this.”
“Is it a problem?”
Lan Wangji always knew how to cut to his heart. Wei Wuxian grimaced, giving up any pretense of a good mood. “Yours? No. Never. Not what I imagined, those long years ago, but just as beautiful.”
“You still see yourself in your original body when you dream.” Lan Wangji said it with all the weight of obvious truth, and Wei Wuxian nodded. As Lan Wangji sat down again, the bed gently curving under his weight, he asked, “What part do you miss?”
Wei Wuxian flushed. “You know…”
Lan Wangji's mouth twitched in what would be another man's laugh. “Wei Ying, you have created many talismans. There are implements that resemble such a body part. You are very clever.”
“I—” Wei Wuxian's mouth kept moving even as his mind went momentarily blank. “You want me to—?”
Lan Wangji brushed his cheek with the back of one hand. “You are not the only one who dreamed, long years ago.”
Wei Wuxian groaned and buried his face in his hands. “You should have told me then,” he informed Lan Wangji. “We could have had sex so many times before now.”
“We will make up for it,” Lan Wangji said with serene patience that did a very good job of hiding the frustration Wei Wuxian knew he sometimes had with Wei Wuxian's physical dysphoria and what it meant for their sex life. “Especially after you put your skills to use.”
Wei Wuxian took a deep breath. “I can do this.”
Lan Wangji placed his hand on the back of Wei Wuxian’s neck, and Wei Wuxian could feel his warmth and the strength of his belief through the contact alone. He leaned into it, and after a moment Lan Wangji gathered him onto his lap, until Wei Wuxian’s cheek pressed against Lan Wangji’s shoulder; his shoulder aligned between Lan Wangji’s small breasts.
Wei Wuxian wasn’t lying when he said he had no trouble with them; he’d always assumed he’d end up partnered to a woman someday. After coming back in Mo Xuanyu’s form, and with Lan Wangji’s slow and careful help, he’d realised— Well, form didn’t need to define identity, and Lan Wangji was definitely not a woman. Neither was he, but Lan Wangji had gotten to grow up with this whole confusing mess in a way that Wei Wuxian at once appreciated and was deeply jealous of.
Right now, with Lan Wangji slowly stroking down his back, it wasn’t as bad as it sometimes was. And Wei Wuxian was thinking, again, of the carved wooden dildo that Lan Wangji kept hidden under the floor of the jingshi, and how it had felt almost right when Lan Wangji had helped him tie it onto his waist. “Lan Zhan,” he said abruptly. “Where did you get the dildo?”
Lan Wangji’s hand stopped moving, for just a moment. “Wei Ying.”
“No, if you want me to go through with this I’m going to need—” Wei Wuxian swallowed and leaned away from Lan Wangji enough to meet his eyes, make sure he understood this wasn’t a joke. “I’m going to need a number of, ah—samples. I can’t make a talisman, especially such an intimate talisman, without a certain amount of trial and error.”
Lan Wangji nodded silently, and then said, “I made it.”
Wei Wuxian’s mouth dropped open. His thoughts, for once, stopped moving, fixing on this revelation. “You— What— Really?”
“I am quite skilled with my hands,” Lan Wangji said dryly.
Wei Wuxian flushed. He knew exactly how skilled his partner was. “I wasn’t questioning! I just, I guess—” He shook his head, and then brightened into another grin. “Hey, this means I don’t need to tell anyone else what my cock looked like!”
Lan Wangji’s eyes closed momentarily, but the softness around his lips laid his amusement bare. “I suppose it does, Wei Ying.”
“So you’ll make me some test subjects, right?” Wei Wuxian kissed Lan Wangji’s cheek, then nibbled on his ear. “Hey, Lan Zhan.”
“Mn?”
“Did you make that dildo to resemble what you thought my cock looked like?”
The shudder that ran through Lan Wangji’s body would’ve confirmed it even without the way Lan Wangji grabbed hold of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders and pressed him back down to the bed.
Wei Wuxian laughed and threw his head back. “Keep thinking about it,” he said, gasping as Lan Wangji bit at his collarbones, sending arousal flooding through his body in return. “This—ah!—is good motivation.”
It took a month for Lan Wangji to carve the test dildos, between clan politics and necessary night-hunts. During that time, Wei Wuxian didn’t exactly lock himself in his rooms the way he had at the Burial Mounds when desperately trying to save Wen Ning, but he only came out to eat. He didn’t even pretend to hold to a proper Cloud Recesses schedule; he did his best work at night, sometimes while simply pacing along the outer wall, staring at the stars and contemplating what sigils he needed to interweave to get the proper effect.
Starting from wood helped. Wood was alive, even when pruned from its original form, and remembered what it was to sense and feel and move, albeit more slowly than human flesh. But it was enough, especially when paired with Wei Wuxian’s knowledge of how to bring back the dead in a cognizant form: Plants might not have a soul in the same way humans did, but they certainly had some recognizable spark.
The second month, Lan Wangji spent much of his time running errands to acquire the rare herbs and tools that Wei Wuxian needed. This month, Wei Wuxian spent alternating between the Cloud Recesses’ library—extensive, but not always explorative enough—and writing his own circles to ensure that his theory was sound before he began the work proper to wake a wooden dildo to human sensation. Tangentially he knew that people were curious what project he was working on, but most of them didn’t pursue further than “Is this more demonic cultivation?”—which it definitely wasn’t, and Wei Wuxian was happy to assure them so.
It was Lan Jingyi, of all people, who was the only one to pursue it further. Wei Wuxian looked at him and the jittery energy hiding just beneath the surface, frowned, and then said as close to the truth as he could bear to explain to a youth: “I’m working on something that, if it succeeds, would aid in the creation of prosthetics.” It wasn’t a lie at all; it just didn’t explain the specific kind of prosthetic he desperately wanted to make. And if it worked, he’d be happy to extend the principles in that way.
His heart eased at Lan Jingyi’s delighted expression, and when Lan Jingyi offered to help, Wei Wuxian shrugged and set him to figuring out if there was someone in the Cloud Recesses who had a wooden prosthetic who might want to try getting sensation back. “I don’t know if it’ll work,” he told Lan Jingyi; he wanted to be sure that got passed along, “and I don’t know how long it’ll take. So don’t get their hopes up!”
“I won’t!” Lan Jingyi swore, and then darted off with all the determined energy of youth. Wei Wuxian shook his head and went back to frowning at the treatise on energetic pathways he had been in the middle of. There was something in it that he wasn’t quite following, about meridian alignment and the healing properties of plants, and if he could just find it, he knew he’d be able to make progress on his theories. Wei Wuxian sighed, and rested his head gently upon a rare clear spot in the midst of his research materials.
He wished Wen Qing were still around and could help; she’d made some of the most important realizations when they were helping Wen Ning, and he hadn’t realised how much he’d relied upon her healer’s expertise. Now, without it, he was forced to learn for himself much of the theory she’d been able to tell him acerbically, as if he were a dunce for not knowing it already. But he was good at learning, when he put his mind to it, and the Cloud Recesses had a well-stocked library. It was a better place to do research and invention than the Burial Mounds. He just had to keep going and do the work.
And so, in the middle of the third month, Wei Wuxian began delicately carving characters onto the dildo’s base, praying under his breath that everything would work.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said as they finished eating their evening meal, four months after Lan Wangji’s initial suggestion, “I want to try something.”
Lan Wangji tilted his head in a way that meant Continue.
Wei Wuxian grinned and pulled out a carefully carved and polished dildo, now entirely covered with talismanic markings. Smooth-set resin coated it, leaving the etchings as only a subtle texture underneath. “I’m ready to test this.”
“Ah.” Lan Wangji’s pupils dilated, and he carefully set down his cup of tea. “Immediately?”
“Well…” Wei Wuxian drew out the sound as long as he could, smile broadening as Lan Wangji stilled with controlled desire. “I could be… convinced.”
Lan Wangji chuckled softly. “Wei Ying, you have already convinced yourself.”
“And you?” Wei Wuxian asked, not bothering to deny it.
With the grace and speed of a hunting egret, Lan Wangji rose to his feet. He inclined his head towards the bed, and Wei Wuxian stood to follow him, hand suddenly sweaty around the slick wood. He’d done all the preliminary tests he could, but with only his own body, Wei Wuxian couldn’t be sure if the feedback loop was drawing solely from his own expectations or if the talisman had truly taken effect.
Watching Lan Wangji strip efficiently, Wei Wuxian thought he felt the dildo warm in his hand, just as his own body was flushing. He had to set it aside on a low table as he—more slowly—removed most of his clothing. He kept his shirt, but bared everything else, even as Lan Wangji—hands delicate and graceful—placed the newly fashioned dildo talisman into its harness. He offered it to Wei Wuxian, lips parted ever so slightly and eyes bright with hunger.
Wei Wuxian took it from him and stepped into the harness, slowly fastening it around his hips. The straps pressed against bruises Lan Wangji’s fingers had left earlier that week, hungry and vicious in taking his pleasure. Wei Wuxian shivered at the memory, and felt his nipples tighten against the soft weave of his shirt. He could see Lan Wangji’s eyes flicker to track the moment before immediately returning to focus on the dildo now heavy against his crotch.
“Activate it,” Lan Wangji said.
Wei Wuxian nodded, unable to help his automatic arousal at Lan Wangji’s orders. He pressed two fingers against the base of— of his cock, and focused.
Warmth surged against his groin and Wei Wuxian gasped. Light flared too, bright and warm, before settling down into a soft glow highlighting the characters. He pulled his hand back and looked up at Lan Wangji. “You can—”
That was as far as he got before Lan Wangji’s hand grasped his cock and pulled.
The mewl that came out of Wei Wuxian’s throat was entirely unfounded, and the pleasure cascading through him was— he’d forgotten it could feel this way, to have someone touch him. “It’s— It’s working,” he managed to say, as Lan Wangji led him to bed by his cock. “If you— ohhhh— fuck—” Wei Wuxian stumbled, the tightness of Lan Wangji’s grip almost cascading over into pain. “Lan Zhan—”
“I’ve been waiting,” Lan Wangji growled, letting go of Wei Wuxian’s cock only to grab him by the waist instead and lift him entirely off the ground. Wei Wuxian automatically grabbed his shoulders to steady himself, but that wasn’t enough to avoid being tossed onto the bed, Lan Wangji pouncing on him immediately. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this, Wei Ying?”
Wei Wuxian shook his head, unable to think about anything other than Lan Wangji’s cunt (and it was his cunt, they’d had a long conversation about this their first time) and how close it was to his cock. He reached out, only for Lan Wangji to shove his hands back to the mattress.
“I will take my pleasure, Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji raised himself above Wei Wuxian, one hand moving down to steady his cock. “You will keep your hands away until I tell you may touch.”
“Yes,” Wei Wuxian said, helplessly, as Lan Wangji smoothly sat down, cunt enveloping his cock in one quick motion.
After that, he had no more ability to think. All he could feel was the slide of Lan Wangji’s body around his cock, and the way it buzzed through his body, warm and electric. Lan Wangji’s hands were clever, and his mouth felt good, but nothing compared to his body looking and feeling and working the way he thought it should.
It was even better, in a way; Wei Wuxian managed to think as Lan Wangji’s voice caught in orgasm. If he’d still has his original cock, he thought he just might have come as soon as Lan Wangji had begun fucking himself. Now, he got to feel Lan Wangji’s pleasure, and let it push him over the edge himself, all the muscles in his groin pulsing as he finally—finally—got to reach up and wrap himself around Lan Wangji.
As he pulled out and removed the harness, Lan Wangji bit his neck. When Wei Wuxian lay down once more and allowed Lan Wangji to trap him in his strong arms, Wei Wuxian said, “I think it works.”
Lan Wangji let out a huff of amusement. “As do I.”
“Good,” Wei Wuxian murmured sleepily. “Let’s keep testing, though. Just in case.”
“Later,” Lan Wangji promised, pressing a kiss to his closed eyelids. “We certainly will.”