Rae had almost forgotten about writing an apology in Sunati’s incredibly dorky book when she received a message request from Austen.
She was in the middle of brushing her teeth. The translucent screen bobbed in front of Rae’s face as she glared through it at the mirror and did the quick mental conversion to Kaku City’s time. She doubted Austen had done the reverse; it was mid-morning on a weekend for Austen, and Rae bet that she’d slept in and then looked at Sunati’s book first thing after waking up.
Rae spat out the toothpaste, washed her mouth clean, and then hit “Accept” on the voice call while walking back to her bedroom. “I’m only picking up because Sunati would kill me if you were having a crisis and I didn’t help you,” she said, cutting off whatever greeting Austen was absolutely going to try and give her. “So what is it?”
There was a pause—Rae bet that Austen was scowling at her—before Austen said, “I was going to say that you don’t need to apologise for being a bitch the last time we talked.”
“Oh.” Rae leaned against her windowsill and stared out over the forest, contemplating and discarding responses to that. The night was darker in Cachora than in Kaku City; no skyscrapers, barely any all-night parties, and fewer people in general. It meant that the VR lab and their apartments above it looked out over the whole village, and that the moon painted everything silver when it was anywhere close to full. It was lovely, and she’d grown very fond of it over the months she’d lived here, which was probably why she settled on, “Sorry for being a bitch again?”
Austen muttered something in Spanish too fast for Rae to catch. Then, louder, she said, “It’s kind of refreshing to have someone be mad at me and not worry that I’m fragile or going to break. Also, I was kind of an ass back to you? So I think we’re even. We both love Sunati, and we both want the best for her.”
Rae sighed. “What did she add to my apology after I wrote it?”
“Nothing!” Austen squeaked. “Or, well, an explanation of why she made you write it.”
Typical. Rae made herself listen to the insects chirping in the night until she was calm enough to say, “I’ve never liked anyone Sunati’s dated.” She expected Austen to jump in during that pause and fill the space with unnecessary babble, something cheerful and unhelpful. It was why she and Sunati had come up with the talking teddy, all those years ago. Maybe this, looking into the night and talking with someone halfway around the world who she didn’t know but had heard so much about, could be liminal in the same way. “She’s my best friend. I love her so much. I don’t know who I’d be without her.”
This time when Rae paused, fumbling for a way to express the rest without sounding like the huge bitch she absolutely was, Austen’s voice filled the space between them. “I know what that’s like.” A deep breath. “I’m glad she has you.”
The words didn’t even sound forced. Rae made a face at her own fragile reflection in the window glass. “Because I made her talk to you so you could convince her to do what she really wanted?”
“No! Well. Yeah, but it’s not just that.” Austen clicked her tongue. “Look, you’re prickly and hard to get along with. Also, Sunati loves you. You aren’t an ass to her. You disliking me because I made her cry? I hate that I made her cry on her birthday! It sucks! But we got past that. You’re her best friend. I want to get past that with you too.”
You’re too sharp, the whispers in Rae’s head told her. You push people away. Nobody’s going to promise to keep you in their life forever the way people do for their romantic partners, especially when you can never feel the same way. Rae pressed her forehead against the window. It was just cool enough to remind her that her teenage fears were bullshit, but not cold enough to snap her out of it entirely.
“Good luck,” Rae muttered, half to herself.
Austen took it as being directed at her anyway, with all the stubbornness that Rae knew Sunati loved about her and which Rae found profoundly annoying to experience for herself. “Does that mean we can talk more? I know Sunati would be thrilled to learn that we’d become friends while she was on Enceladus.”
She would. Rae could imagine it now, the way Sunati’s face would split open in a beaming smile at seeing her best friend and her girlfriend in the same place. She’d probably make them celebrate by playing Starlight Soldiers, and Rae would agree just because Sunati was back after so long away, and hopefully Austen would share eye-rolls with her about the cheesy plot and the excessive sparkles and it would be more fun because her exasperation would be shared with someone else.
“Do you know why I never liked any of Sunati’s other partners?” Rae asked abruptly, before she could decide this was a terrible idea and she shouldn’t open up to Austen at all. “It’s because I always felt like they’d take her away from me. But I guess now that I’ve left first, and Sunati kept in touch, and then she went off to Enceladus, and we’re still exchanging letters, the idea that you’re also here doesn’t make it feel like you’re going to steal her from me.”
“I wouldn’t want to.” Austen sounds serious, more than Rae ever would’ve expected. “You’ve been friends for so long! That’s amazing! I’m so glad for you both! And maybe we’ll never be as close to each other as to Austen, but I want to try and be friends.”
Rae blinked tears away. The stars blurred in her vision, shimmering like distant city lights, as she said, “Yeah. I think I’d like to try that too.”